2 Sided Coin of Our Heritage

 

The recent resignation an honorary member of the Buckingham Palace household for repeatedly asking a Black woman where she "came from,'' clarified how this question reflects one side of our biases coin; and a reflection of our struggle with institutional racism.   I want to stress "institutional" to ensure we are discussing deep sited views and emotions within our institutions/social norms - NOT ANY INDIVIDUAL.   There is another side to this bias coin, ie. these deep sited views that I am struggling with as well.

But first, I need to point out the generational aspect of these deep sited views within our institutions and day to day lives.  My child constantly kid me to "not judge" when I am speaking with or "of" other people in gatherings.  I constantly reply that I am genuinely interested in understanding the heritage of anyone I meet.   For me it is about learning the stories of others and, in so doing, getting to know anyone I come in contact with.  

Shall we all this innocent "curiosity"?  I know that I inherited this "curiosity of heritage" from my mother who always found a way to speak her mind and dig deeper into everyone's heritage. Well, sometimes it could be quite embarrassing.   I believe you got the picture that my mother could say some pretty offensive while innocent statements/questions.   This "curiosity" vs "judgement" tension has been shifting from my mother, to me, to my children, and on and on.   

Returning to the phrase "where are you from" -- this is now being touted in many editorials and news channels.  Specifically, the rightfully negative face of institutional racism - ie. how this question is at the core of all our cultural differences and tensions.

Which leads me to the other side of the coin.  Why is this question not asked of white people on a grander scale.   IT IS IMPORTANT to stress the scale and frequency of this question. 

Yes it is appropriate to ask the "came from" question when any relationships reaches a "higher level personal level".   In such cased no one feels called to put a "judgement" dimension put upon such context.   So when the question is raised without reaching this "personal relationship" level, then we say the phrase "came from" a deep side of us, ie. a tool of institutional racism to classify and clarify positions of hierarchy. 

I finish that while cases like the Buckingham Palace struggles goes on; at the same time we are all watching the amazing diversity being shown within the 2022 World Cup (soccer/football) games.   We see fans from each nation sharing a common theme:  crazy makeup/colors/costumes by the plethora  of fans.  The colors/style matter not.   The "de colores" sentiments are there.   

Simply, diversity is growing in our society.   And so is the depth of our personal relationships across our cultures.  We are evolving.   We are uniting into this grand diverse ball of crazy colorful heritages.